isThisDisappointmentI'mFeelin???...

i'm not sure what this is...feelin' a little down today...for reasons i shouldn't be...oh and yea...it's my birthday today...i'm happy to all those that sent me birthday wishes...even from those that i didn't expect wishes from...but no...this is something else...and i think that is stoopid to be honest...as you can guess...i'm sad at someone...but don't get me wrong...it's not like i'm sad that he never wished me happy birthday...he did...i think it was the first thing he did when he got into work...but...sending my replies relunctantly as though i didn't want to talk to him...i have to give it to him for trying...on saturday morning...and this morning...in his responses to me...but i didn't leave him with room to feel as though i was happy...quite unemotional...am i trying to push him away???...to see if he tries harder???...i think he knows what i'm feeling...i don't think he's daft...i guess i'm looking for more...and unsure of what to expect...but do you blame me...i am left in a position that i hate being in...i'm not too sure what i'm feeling...is it disappointment???...is it sadness???...is it love???...oh god!...please don't say it's love...i'm almost tempted to say the words...let it all out in the open...but is this what it is???...what if this feeling is not reciprocated...i don't think it's love in it's entirety...but love in it's blossoming phase...but when i think back...is the time spent reason enough to say it's love...i guess it's not so much the quantity of time... but the quantity of emotions and feelings and warmth that you get...i think that's all it needs...disappointment???...i don't know...he certainly seemed to try but it just wasn't in me to be bubbly and happy to speak to him...i think i want something more than that...it's the longing that hurts more than anything...but is this just another one of my little crushes...not that i have THAT many...but...the 'i know he's the one' line...i won't deny the fact...that he is something different...like the shoe that fits...