anticipation...andThenReaction...

you wait for a reply...you think you aren't going to get one...and then suddenly you see your inbox...and there's an email sitting there...Oh My God you think...then...oh no...what are you going to say...are you going to say anything???...should you pretend that you don't care???...or should you say what is on your mind???...oh the politics...i hate the politics...why can't everything be just black and white and simple...if what you are feeling is what you are feeling...just say and don't care...if i miss you i will say it...if i don't care i will say it...and if i'm still hurting i will say it...but how much can you really protect yourself...put yourself out on the line...express the way that you feel...as long as you are true to yourself...there is no point in kidding yourself and others about the way that you feel...if nobody wants to appreciate it then tell them to fuck off...i never say what i feel to the person that i have feelings for...so what do i do...borrow the ears of friends...until they burn with all the whinnings and sighs coming out of my mouth...but then how much can they really say to you...what's my reaction???...should i reply...i want to reply...i want to hear his voice...i want some reaction...